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adam2015

Typing through the tears

I'm not one who cries easily at books or movies. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of both that have made me cry. However, I still have knot in my stomach from watching one of the aforementioned movies. I happened to be flipping through the channels and found A Time To Kill on TBS. It was half over, but that didn't matter. I've read the book and seen the movie, practically have certain scenes memorized. Plus, that was the story that solidified in me the career goal that I've been chasing ever since.

And the last thing I need when I'm two years into a Masters program, with a thesis that seems impossible, is to be reminded that law school was the goal when grad school started. Rather than persuing the PhD that I'm feeling pushed towards now, law school is still the dream. Now, how does that connect with this movie, well my love of research and lack of skill in public speaking led me to think that being Ellen Roark would be where I'd find myself after law school. Not to mention the fact that I'd love to be skilled enough to write and deliver a speech as good as Jake Brigance's closing. Yes, I know it's fiction, but I also know that making the jury understand where your client is coming from is the ultimate goal. Anyway, the last thing I needed at a time when I'm wondering where my academic career was going was this movie, but at the same time, maybe it'll help me refocus as the ultimate goal with this Masters was and still is grades that would get me what my undergraduate grades would not, a place in a respectable law school.

I've realized during my Masters program that I'd only want to teach at a level that requires a PhD and that is would not be for the sake of teaching, but rather research, travel and writing, what I really enjoy. And having had professors who teach for that reason, it's not good to be in their class, especially if they just released a book and are more interested in interviews than lectures. That's my ultimate fear, is that I won't be good enough, as a professor or scholar to merit a job at a Research 1 university, which is the only place I could see myself happy.
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Comments

That is one of my all time favorite movies.

In my high school drama class we had to memorize a speech for one of our assignments and I memorized Jake's closing.

Its such a powerful, well written, well acted, perfectly cast movie.
I'm glad I'm not the only one, and yes the cast is perfect, however, Ashley Judd as a blonde is so wrong.
I know. I actually can't stand her at all in the movie (luckily she plays only a minor part), but she looks so much better with dark hair.
I go back and forth, but I will say, if it'd been me writing the story, the love scene would've unfolded differently.
I'm the same way. But I always realize that as badly as I wanted Jake and Ellen to get together, that would have completely undermined his character.
His character? I'd say it would be her character, but it wouldn't be right either way.
Ok.I think this will be the movie Tyler and I watch tonight :)
Enjoy, I only watched about the last hour. Oh, and IMDB trivia I found, that closing was done by McConaughey in one take.
Thats awesome. He is fabulous :)
Yep, and he's hot to boot. His is the only southern accent that doesn't make me cringe.